Peace Begins Within

So, Christmas... it has come and gone. I have to admit that this year was a little off. Of course last year was a LOT off which may have contributed to this year being off. This holiday brought with it memories of last year's loss and the saddness we endured along with pressures and worries of the health and well being of my sweet girl child.

Getting ready for the holidays was strange this year because Honey and the Boy Child have been working out of town since the middle of November. They came home for Thanksgiving and a day or two here and there but didn't come home until the night before Christmas. Although the boy child hung my lights outside it was hard to focus on Christmas without them here harrassing me or encouraging me to hurry and get some presents under the tree etc.

We adopted a needy family this year so I managed to bury myself in shopping for 7 people that I didn't know. I have to admit that it was a challenge but it took my mind off of my own issues. It was really nice to be able to provide a nice Christmas for this family who truely needed help this year. They were so apprecitative. The kids all received things they needed as well as some toys. The lincoln logs were a HUGE hit with the little boys. I hope that we are in a position to do it again next year. Maybe we can adopt 2 smaller families and spread the joy.

We celebrated the holiday with my side of the family on December 20th. It was strange to be celebrating without any of the men in my family. My dad passed 2.5 years ago and even though he pretended to be a scrooge he really loved the holiday and the many friends and family it brought together. Its still hard to celebrate without him. Honey and the boy child were gone working and the girl child let her husband "Off the hook" as he had friends here from out of state that he wanted to see. The day was very relaxing and we ate, visited, opened gifts and played a game. It was a nice day but it just didn't feel like Christmas without my true love by my side and all of my kids gathered round.

I found myself floundering on December 23, suddenly realizing that I should take the turkey out of the freezer, do some grocery shopping and maybe even wrap some presents. I didn't have most of the presents that I wanted to buy bought and the ones I had ordered had not arrived yet. I was just sort of "Oh well". I enjoyed the evening visiting with honey as I prepared everything that I could do food wise that night and wrapped presents. He couldn't figure out why I was wrapping stuff just so we could unwrap it in the morning. Silly man.. You just have to!

On the morning of December 24th Honey had to run out and work for a local client and the boy child was out running parts and gathering material to take back down south on Saturday morning. The girl child called around 9:30 and said that they would be late for the 10:00 am planned celebration. I realized there were a couple of gifts that I wanted to get and one was important enough to go out for and left the house to go get them.

As I drove through town I was amazed and joyful at the lack of stress I was feeling for once. Was it that I didn't care enough about our celebration to worry that nobody was on time and that things weren't done? No, that wasn't it. I think I found the joy in the holiday while I was out getting the one gift that I thought was important for my daughter, the one thing that I hoped would move her the way it moved me.

We put a lot of thought into the gifts that we bought for our family this year. I'm not sure if the kids found as much joy in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University as we had hoped they would, but we know that some day they will thank us. We bought the boys things for their jobs and the girl child things to decorate her room and make it someplace that she would feel joy and happiness. Then I ran across something that came in a sales catalog and knew I had to buy it.

I found my girl child, somebody who is struggeling with her emotions and her stress, a small ID bracelet that said simply "Peace begins within" and I knew I needed to buy it for her. I hoped that she would understand how much those three little words meant towards her getting better.

On the way home I realized that the lack of stress I was feeling, even though normally I would be losing it at 10:15 am on Christmas eve when everything was so un-organized for a 10:00 gathering that NOBODY was there for, was because I was at peace. At peace with the gifts I had purchased, the food I had prepared regardless of there being no jello salad or dessert, and the family arriving whenever they could make it. The entire day was spent visiting and eating and opening gifts and just hanging out. The plan was to eat at 1:00 pm so the girl child and her family could go to church before leaving to her family-in-loves home, but we sat down at 3:00 pm and she wasn't stressing about it so I wasn't either. I am so thankful for that time.

After all of the kids left, my sweet honey and I cleaned up most of the mess and relaxed in front of the fire before heading out to a movie. There was still a few dishes to wash but they would keep til morning. We had another celebration the next day with his family and some friends coming over. We knew it would be a long day due to the difficulty of picking up and delivery his father, but we went out anyway.

Our Christmas day started out less then peaceful as my husband tends to clean things that have been annoying him when he is nervous and having family over tends to do that to him. I was having a hard time understanding why he wanted to clean the garage and shampoo the carpet when there was food to prepare and presents to wrap. The carpet got cleaned, the presents got wrapped, the food got prepared and we were fine. His family was very late, which is common, so things got switched around a bit on our plans but we had a wonderful day anyway.

This year Christmas was different. It was peaceful even when it was hectic. We spent time with family who we rarely see and love and miss, our own little family who we adore, our childhood family and friends who we are thrilled to have close to us. I hope that your Christmas was peaceful regardless of where you were and who you were with. If it wasn't, remember that Peace Begins Within.